- Instead of working on a paper I am watching The Social Network. I do not know how exactly I feel about this film, but it is pulling me in. I normally really do not Jesse Eisenberg or the character he has played. That said, I tend to like his films. Go Figure. That said, this movie really makes me want to cut Facebook, never talk to anyone, meditate until the world ends in the year 4 billion. Mark Zuckerberg is not really a person to me anymore. He still is a person, of course, but he represents what people are and will become. Closed off people with little outside interests beyond what exists within their computers. The Social Network as makes me glad I did not go to Dartmouth, Harvard, Princeton, or any other Ivy League school. I do not think I could have gotten into these school however.

- I am getting closer to the point of being free from the school and sophomore level responsibility to “adulthood”. My chronic worries about my health, death, economy, ability to find a decent job, life and overall basic happiness in whatever this world is driving me up the wall when I have time to think about it. You can accuse me of being a young fake liberal socialist asshole and I honestly would not have a problem with it. At some point, everyone goes through this in some way. It never really stops. Enough internet-dull philosophy.

i have two things i want to share today

1) this is what i have been enjoying lately in the music realm of things.

2. i made a recording the other night of my friends band “we ain’t sorry” playing  on the radio here in tuscaloosa

that is all for now.

- It seems that there is this resurgence in interest in goth culture, music, fashion, iconography, etc. I have yet to understand why this is or if there is a connection to recent political or social changes. Being a mall kid once a long time ago, my experience with “goth kids” were the kids at the mall who wore the big pants, black hair, and not into limp bizkit/korn. I do not think this is the type of goth that is suddenly popular. I think it has something to do with this Brooklyn/Socal lo-fi crap coming out nowadays. kids trying to be black metal and guided by voices at the same time being completely fake and full of shit. more on this later.

in other news i got a copy of disintegration by the cure.

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- I had a debate/argument about children tv shows. i don’t like children’s animated shows that have the main character being the same age as the primary audience. it is hard to explain but shit like Sid the science kid, to me, is horsecrap and was just made to throw big words at pre-schoolers in hopes that they stick. parents are not parents anymore, just shitty babysitters.  again, more on this later.

- I am making my way slowly through twin peaks season 2. I am up to the point where the killer is revealed and dealt with and the show makes a turn. i have been told by many people who the second season is shit and to not watch it. so far i am liking it. i like all the characters enough at this point to want to know what is going to happen to them. some of the side stories are a bit blah and boring but (leo in the wheelchair and the who’s the father side story ick).

While jogging I realized that I have mentioned that I want to see Japan to a lot of people lately. Most of my motivation to do something comes from me talking about it a lot and annoying others. I really need to do this. I am going to apply to the JET program but I think due to some legal issues I do not think that will work out well.

I have been looking at other companies and businesses that pay for people to teach english or work in Japan and it is a bit scary. I am not sure why. Maybe this is due to the fact that

1) Japan is very far from home
2) First real step into adulthood/manhood/whatever
3) I did not go to teaching school for a reason. I do not feel I have the skills to teach anyone much less English to someone.

Even with those worries, and even though I know I am glorifying Japan in my head, I know that I need to do this. I am glad I am not a anime nerd or that big in J-punk/hardcore/noise, otherwise I would be in for a large cultureshock.

I do not know what I am talking about but I really feel like I need to see outside of the USA before I am thirty. Also getting out of the country would help my parents money wise seeing that I wont be a burden.

This has been the worse year of my life easily. Starting graduate school is turning out not to be a good idea. I have friends here but most are leaving soon or involved in being in couples that if you did not know them you swear they were married. I love them but i hate that. My grandmother is dead. I did not get the girl. I hurt people all the time with poor decisions.  I found out I may have Charcot-Marie-Tooth disorder and depression. I am surrounded by people I do not know, will never know, and care not to know. I feel like a giant cancerous tumor walking around town (i kinda like that though).

nothing much to say else right now. staying in doing homework after work/lunch.

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=a292aaae26814dbe2fb2ca15d7ea42d9e04e75f6e8ebb871

http://www.sendspace.com/file/4etpc5

By the end of the Gories, I was exhausted. I hung back during the Oblivians, but they were really good either way. I got a little tired and sick feeling, and knowing I had a long drive ahead of me, I went to the car to rest a bit. The lady parked next to me was the drummer of the Gories and she kept hitting me car with her car door. I checked to see if I was parked too close to that line, but I parked perfectly. She is kinda rude about it and seemed very drunk. No one is perfect.

Upon leaving, Katie, Will Granger, and myself make our way to a Regions ATM machine. Before pulling up we are privy to a shooting. I did not get the best viewing of the scene but upon hearing those gunshots, I got the fuck out of there in a hurry. Memphis, even the nice parts, seemed dirty which had its own fear inducing charm.

I would write about my recent trip to Tuscaloosa to look at apartments, but nothing much happened, but I was able to see Stephanie and Alex so that was nice. Any help with this project of finding a decent and cheap apartment would be grand.

Other than that nothing much going on in my life. Still cannot find a job, the band is going alright, and I shaved my beard off.

- Chuck Klosterman. Ok , I enjoy reading his books and I think he writes well, but at the same time he is kinda a douche.

-I bought Scanners today. Hooray!

- I was in Kansas City with my parents recently. On the day we were leaving the driving that was picking us up locked us all out of the car. We tried to get back in the car various ways, but it all came down to a hammer. The driver could not get the window busted with the hammer so I took a couple wacks. I busted the window with the hammer but in doing so I cut the living crap out of my finger. I was too angry at the time to even worry about the blood flowing down my hand. We missed the flight in the end and had to stay an extra day, which kinda sucked but maybe I will get a wicked neat scar out of this ordeal.

radioshow 10! yayayay. At least I think it is number 10 not too sure on that. anyway give it a listen please. feedback is fun.

songlist below the drop

heavenly -c is the heavenly option

lou reed – crazy feeling

sonic youth- dirty boots

modettes- bedtime stories 2

wipers- window shop for love

talk

the crystals please hurt me

tab hunter polyester

preservation hall jazz band basin street blues

berlin take my breath away

talk

death politicians in my eyes

the saints this perfect day

the nixe love song

the 3ds my revenge

zombies i want her she wants me

the girls cubist grid

the urinals shes a drone

catatonic youth ive had it

lebenden toten twitching brains

mercyful fate devil eyes