Brief Points

- The end of another semester is coming and I find myself yet again stressed beyond usual. Several papers, a presentation using software I have little experience with, and lastly, preparing to move back to Montgomery, Alabama. All of these factors combined with my crippling inability to finish anything and my worries about finding an internship for my last three credits of my masters program. Looking forward to Christmas though. I get to rest in bed, eat decently well, read whatever I want and watch decent movies.

- Instead of working on a paper I am watching The Social Network. I do not know how exactly I feel about this film, but it is pulling me in. I normally really do not Jesse Eisenberg or the character he has played. That said, I tend to like his films. Go Figure. That said, this movie really makes me want to cut Facebook, never talk to anyone, meditate until the world ends in the year 4 billion. Mark Zuckerberg is not really a person to me anymore. He still is a person, of course, but he represents what people are and will become. Closed off people with little outside interests beyond what exists within their computers. The Social Network as makes me glad I did not go to Dartmouth, Harvard, Princeton, or any other Ivy League school. I do not think I could have gotten into these school however.

- I am getting closer to the point of being free from the school and sophomore level responsibility to “adulthood”. My chronic worries about my health, death, economy, ability to find a decent job, life and overall basic happiness in whatever this world is driving me up the wall when I have time to think about it. You can accuse me of being a young fake liberal socialist asshole and I honestly would not have a problem with it. At some point, everyone goes through this in some way. It never really stops. Enough internet-dull philosophy.

Banned in Tuscaloosa

Not really but I am working on it.

i have two things i want to share today

1) this is what i have been enjoying lately in the music realm of things.

2. i made a recording the other night of my friends band “we ain’t sorry” playing  on the radio here in tuscaloosa

that is all for now.

Twin Peaks, Children and Neo-Goth BS.

Let us start with the back and move forward.

- It seems that there is this resurgence in interest in goth culture, music, fashion, iconography, etc. I have yet to understand why this is or if there is a connection to recent political or social changes. Being a mall kid once a long time ago, my experience with “goth kids” were the kids at the mall who wore the big pants, black hair, and not into limp bizkit/korn. I do not think this is the type of goth that is suddenly popular. I think it has something to do with this Brooklyn/Socal lo-fi crap coming out nowadays. kids trying to be black metal and guided by voices at the same time being completely fake and full of shit. more on this later.

in other news i got a copy of disintegration by the cure.

.

- I had a debate/argument about children tv shows. i don’t like children’s animated shows that have the main character being the same age as the primary audience. it is hard to explain but shit like Sid the science kid, to me, is horsecrap and was just made to throw big words at pre-schoolers in hopes that they stick. parents are not parents anymore, just shitty babysitters.  again, more on this later.

- I am making my way slowly through twin peaks season 2. I am up to the point where the killer is revealed and dealt with and the show makes a turn. i have been told by many people who the second season is shit and to not watch it. so far i am liking it. i like all the characters enough at this point to want to know what is going to happen to them. some of the side stories are a bit blah and boring but (leo in the wheelchair and the who’s the father side story ick).

Japan

I went jogging for the first real time the other day. It was a neat experience. I know it is odd to say that jogging is neat but the feeling of doing something with my body besides transporting my brain about or causing me grief was a welcome change.

While jogging I realized that I have mentioned that I want to see Japan to a lot of people lately. Most of my motivation to do something comes from me talking about it a lot and annoying others. I really need to do this. I am going to apply to the JET program but I think due to some legal issues I do not think that will work out well.

I have been looking at other companies and businesses that pay for people to teach english or work in Japan and it is a bit scary. I am not sure why. Maybe this is due to the fact that

1) Japan is very far from home
2) First real step into adulthood/manhood/whatever
3) I did not go to teaching school for a reason. I do not feel I have the skills to teach anyone much less English to someone.

Even with those worries, and even though I know I am glorifying Japan in my head, I know that I need to do this. I am glad I am not a anime nerd or that big in J-punk/hardcore/noise, otherwise I would be in for a large cultureshock.

I do not know what I am talking about but I really feel like I need to see outside of the USA before I am thirty. Also getting out of the country would help my parents money wise seeing that I wont be a burden.

Why I have not been updating this as much as I would like to

Winter

It is that time of year again. Cold and rainy. Almost seems like a black metal song come to life. Crowds of footballers run threw the streets hollering the old fight songs made popular by their fathers and mothers. I am currently stuck in a tiny office, tucked away in one of the corners of this massive, ill-organized library. My ill mood from school work and lack of sleep has been doubled by rejection from a loved one. I knew in time it would come and to some degree it is not too bad. Its pretty horrible, like getting shot in the stomach but it could be much worse. I could be dead or being tortured in a dungeon forever.  Right now my only desire is to get home. Not the apartment that I sleep in down the road, but home, in Montgomery. I want to be in my own environment where I feel in control. The place where I dont feel so shitty all the time, only part of the time.

This has been the worse year of my life easily. Starting graduate school is turning out not to be a good idea. I have friends here but most are leaving soon or involved in being in couples that if you did not know them you swear they were married. I love them but i hate that. My grandmother is dead. I did not get the girl. I hurt people all the time with poor decisions.  I found out I may have Charcot-Marie-Tooth disorder and depression. I am surrounded by people I do not know, will never know, and care not to know. I feel like a giant cancerous tumor walking around town (i kinda like that though).

nothing much to say else right now. staying in doing homework after work/lunch.

new things

moved to tuscaloosa, alabama recently. i don’t know if i like it so far. they have a book on warp records in the library i really want to read but alas my card is not “activated” yet. last night instead of watching kids in the hall over and over again, i made a song. i dont know if its any good but give it a listen. its a bit noisy.

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=a292aaae26814dbe2fb2ca15d7ea42d9e04e75f6e8ebb871

http://www.sendspace.com/file/4etpc5

Back

Well it seems I have been on a couple adventures in the past couples weeks.  Firstly, was the trip to Memphis to see the Gories and Oblivians play. Due to some complications and time issues, I had to drive, but in the end it was worth it. The Gories took fucking forever to come to the stage is play, which is a bit annoying but they played very well and it was great seeing one of my favorite bands on stage for the first (and last?) time.

By the end of the Gories, I was exhausted. I hung back during the Oblivians, but they were really good either way. I got a little tired and sick feeling, and knowing I had a long drive ahead of me, I went to the car to rest a bit. The lady parked next to me was the drummer of the Gories and she kept hitting me car with her car door. I checked to see if I was parked too close to that line, but I parked perfectly. She is kinda rude about it and seemed very drunk. No one is perfect.

Upon leaving, Katie, Will Granger, and myself make our way to a Regions ATM machine. Before pulling up we are privy to a shooting. I did not get the best viewing of the scene but upon hearing those gunshots, I got the fuck out of there in a hurry. Memphis, even the nice parts, seemed dirty which had its own fear inducing charm.

I would write about my recent trip to Tuscaloosa to look at apartments, but nothing much happened, but I was able to see Stephanie and Alex so that was nice. Any help with this project of finding a decent and cheap apartment would be grand.

Other than that nothing much going on in my life. Still cannot find a job, the band is going alright, and I shaved my beard off.

Hey, sorry.

I know it has been a while since I lasted updated, but boy I have been decently busy. By busy I mean, watching Wife Swap, listening to records, and being out of town. I will make this a short entry, however I do have a few items of interest or opinion.

- Chuck Klosterman. Ok , I enjoy reading his books and I think he writes well, but at the same time he is kinda a douche.

-I bought Scanners today. Hooray!

- I was in Kansas City with my parents recently. On the day we were leaving the driving that was picking us up locked us all out of the car. We tried to get back in the car various ways, but it all came down to a hammer. The driver could not get the window busted with the hammer so I took a couple wacks. I busted the window with the hammer but in doing so I cut the living crap out of my finger. I was too angry at the time to even worry about the blood flowing down my hand. We missed the flight in the end and had to stay an extra day, which kinda sucked but maybe I will get a wicked neat scar out of this ordeal.

radioshow 10

http://www.sendspace.com/file/kelw5c

radioshow 10! yayayay. At least I think it is number 10 not too sure on that. anyway give it a listen please. feedback is fun.

songlist below the drop